


Grounding

by Anonymouspicklespears



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Caleb Widogast Deserves Nice Things, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hugs, M/M, Minor Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett, My First Fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:27:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23383753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymouspicklespears/pseuds/Anonymouspicklespears
Summary: Caleb gets overwhelmed at a party and Fjord offers him some comfort. It's just soft widofjord y'all, that's the fic.(My first fic ever!)
Relationships: Fjord/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 17
Kudos: 126





	Grounding

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: not beta’d, my Caleb German is from years of reading Caleb fics and also google translate, I haven’t watched a full episode of campaign 2 since the 60s so I’m sure this is very OOC
> 
> CONTENT WARNING: this fic deals with Caleb having a dissociative episode due to sensory overstimulation, which is something I’ve dealt with and thus is written purely from experience. It isn’t graphic, but if that’s triggering please take care of yourself and don’t read this!

Caleb slammed the balcony door shut behind him and sunk to the ground next to it. Through the wall, he could still hear the loud music and raucous laughter from inside the apartment where Jester’s birthday was in full swing. 

Caleb had thought he could do this. He had told himself he could handle one night of strangers and loud music and too much alcohol and too little space because it was Jester and she had asked him so sweetly if he would be okay with _ coming, even for just a really really little bit,  _ because she wanted to see him. So Caleb had talked himself up in the mirror of his own apartment before grabbing the precisely wrapped box of specialty pastries on the counter and locking the door behind him.

Now that he was here, however, Caleb realized he had made a mistake. He wasn’t ready to handle all that came with a party of this caliber. There were too many bodies and too much noise. Even now, away from it all, he still found himself reaching for the comforting fur of Frumpkin only to remember that his cat was, of course, at home. 

Caleb closed his eyes and tried to steady his breathing, but the oppressive black of his eyelids only made him feel more suffocated. Instead, he focused on the moon visible over the tops of the trees ahead of him. It was a beautiful night beyond the small balcony, the leaves rustling in the whispering breeze and small pinpricks of light were visible across the endless sky. Caleb tried to appreciate the view, but his racing mind and uneven breathing fought against the stillness of the night. Where the dissociation had fed off the overstimulation inside, out here was the opposite problem. With nothing to latch onto, Caleb’s brain wandered, losing itself in the maze-like intricacies of his mind’s inner workings. 

Caleb reached into his pocket for his phone, hoping to distract himself with  _ something _ , only to find his pockets empty. “ _ Scheisse,” _ he swore softly to himself, he had left it in the pocket of his coat, which was draped over a chair inside. Caleb weighed his options and decided that the lack of stimuli outside was still more tolerable than the cacophony of anxiety within. With a sigh, he resigned himself to a painful couple of minutes until he could settle his racing mind and sank further down against the wall, drawing his knees up to his chin and tucking his head in. 

* * *

Fjord downed the last of his beer and slammed the bottle on the table, sitting and offering his arm up to Beau. The lythe woman had been taking arm-wrestling challengers all night and was yet undefeated. Fjord knew even on his best day he couldn’t beat Beau, but the alcohol in his system had made him consider that maybe tonight it was worth a shot. 

Across the table, Beau snorted and looked him up and down. “You sure, big man?” Fjord could see the doubt in her eyes, which only fueled his motivation. 

“Hell yeah I am; bring it.” Beau scoffed and shrugged, cracking her knuckles and placing her elbow on the table. Fjord took her offered hand, and with an enthusiastic countdown from Jester, pushed with all his might. 

A jolt of pain shot up to his shoulder and Fjord’s arm was slammed onto the table with the full force of Beau’s strength. The crowd that had amassed behind the undefeated champion let out a whooping cheer as Jester squealed with delight, grabbing Beau’s shoulders and hugging her from behind. Fjord watching the blush creep up Beau’s face as she tried to hug Jester back, though the angle made it almost impossible. Fjord winked at Beau and stood up, seeing the woman flip him the bird as he turned away from the table. 

Fjord headed back towards the kitchen but was intercepted by a whirl of black fabric and an incessant tug on his arm. “Nott? Wha-”

“Fjord! Have you seen Caleb? I can’t find him. I’ve been texting him but he’s not responding and I’m really worried!” Nott’s eyes were frantic and she was glancing around the party even as she spoke. 

A nervous ball of concern dropped in Fjord’s stomach at the words. Caleb disappearing was never good. “Can’t say that I have, but I could help ya’ look?” Fjord offered. He told himself Nott was probably just paranoid. Caleb had probably found a quiet corner to read. There was nothing to be concerned about. 

“Okay! I looked in the kitchen and the bathroom.” Nott had let go of his arm and was already rushing towards the living room where Fjord had just been. He didn’t think he’d seen Caleb anywhere near the living room, but there were so many people he really couldn’t be sure. Fjord figured he’d check the bedroom since Nott hadn’t mentioned looking there yet. 

The door was cracked, which was a good sign. Fjord really didn’t feel like walking in on anything in his searching. As he cautiously opened the door, he found the bed littered with coats and bags, a couple talking in hushed voices in the corner, and five men sitting in a circle at the foot of the bed. Caduceus’s bright hair was unmistakable and the nearly-identical features of the other men revealed them to be the Sol quadruplets. 

Caduceus turned with the sound of the door opening and smiled lazily at Fjord. “Well, if it isn’t Mr. Fjord. How pleasant,” he greeted.

Fjord did another once-over of the room and looked back to the tall man. “Hey, Deucey. You haven’t seen Caleb, have you?” 

Caduceus hummed consideringly and tilted his head. “No......I don’t think I’ve seen Mr. Caleb in quite some time.” He turned towards the rest of the small circle. “Have you?” In complete unison, all four brothers shook their heads. Caduceus turned back to Fjord with a frown. “Doesn’t seem he’s been around here, Mr. Fjord. We’ll certainly send word if we do find him”

“Yeah, alright. Thanks, Duceus.” The man smiled at Fjord with that same lazy smile before turning back to the circle. 

Fjord felt a buzz from his pocket and reached for his phone. 

_ tHe GrEMliN: Not in the living room! _

Fjord closed the door to the bedroom most of the way behind him as he returned to the hallway, typing out his response. 

_ bastard man: Not in the bedroom either. Would he have left? _

_ tHe GrEMliN: NO! Caleb nvr leaves w/o telling me! _

_ bastard man: Let’s keep looking, he’s around here somewhere _

10 minutes and another thorough search of the apartment later, and Fjord was standing in the kitchen with Caleb’s coat in his hand, offering it to an anxious Nott. “It was on a chair in the living room. He wouldn’t leave without his coat or his phone.” Nott snatched the coat from him and withdrew Caleb’s phone from the pocket.

As Nott started to check something on the device, Fjord scanned what he could see of the party over her head, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. His eyes skimmed the group gathered to watch Beau’s arm wrestling antics, a smaller group, led by Jester, singing karaoke next to the TV, and small clusters of guests here and there. His eyes caught on the curtains on the back wall of Jester’s apartment and widened.  _ Didn’t Jester have a balcony? _

Fjord knew Caleb’s anxiety was different from his own, but if Fjord were feeling overwhelmed at this party he would probably find solace outside; he figured it was a good bet Caleb would too. Without announcing his plan, Fjord shot Nott a simple, “Be right back,” and headed straight for the balcony door. 

A few muttered apologies as he navigated Jester’s increasingly intoxicated guests later and Fjord found himself opening the sliding door and stepping out onto Jester’s balcony. 

Fjord’s heart fell, there was no one standing on the balcony, and the thing wasn’t very large so it wasn’t as if there was anywhere else to go once outside. Disappointed, Fjord sighed and turned to head back into the mayhem indoors when his periphery caught a very Caleb-like shape huddled in the corner. 

Fjord stilled and inspected the mass more closely. Sure enough, it was Caleb. The smaller man was huddled so far into himself that he had been nearly invisible to Fjord when he first scanned the balcony, but now that he was looking it was undeniably Caleb. 

“...Caleb?” Fjord tried gently, but the man didn’t respond. In fact, there was no indication Caleb was even awake beside the shuddery nature of his breathing. 

Fjord turned and closed the sliding door beside him, carefully sitting down on the balcony and facing Caleb. Now, without the blatant din from within Jester’s apartment, the night was eerily quiet. Fjord cleared his throat and tried the other man’s name again, “Caleb?”

This time, at the sound of his name Caleb started, but just barely. And then slowly, very slowly, he raised his head to look at Fjord. 

Fjord actively tried to school his features into concerned neutrality upon seeing Caleb’s tear-streaked face. Based on Caleb’s answering wince, he didn’t think he was very successful. On pure instinct, Fjord scooted closer so he was directly in front of Caleb, though still with a fair amount of distance between them. Fjord remembered that Caleb didn’t like being touched when he was overwhelmed, and though Fjord wanted to do nothing more than reach out and offer a comforting hand, he restrained himself. 

Caleb was looking at the ground and avoiding Fjord’s eyes, but he hadn’t returned his head to its former position tucked between his knees, so Fjord thought that was a good sign. 

Fjord wasn’t entirely sure what to do. He had acted purely on instinct when he saw Caleb in distress, and now that he had committed to staying he had no idea what to do or say. A sudden thought occurred to Fjord and he panicked, blurting, “Is it okay for me to be here?” before he could think any better of it. 

Caleb glanced up at Fjord for the briefest of seconds before averting his eyes again, but he nodded as he did so and Fjord let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. 

“Do you wanna talk?” Fjord asked tentatively. This time, Caleb didn’t meet his eyes, he just shook his head once. 

“Alright, that’s fine. Won’t make ya’ do anything you don’t want to, of course.” At this, Caleb flicked his eyes back up to Fjord’s and then nodded, looking back down once more. 

Fjord sat still for a few moments, unsure of how to proceed. He figured his presence was at least minimally helpful because Caleb wanted him to stay, but without talking or offering physical comfort, Fjord wasn’t really sure what to offer. 

Caleb shifted, pressing his head back against the wall and unfolding his legs so they lay next to Fjord’s hip, and continued his attempt at deep breaths. Fjord glanced down at Caleb’s legs, just a few inches from his body, and realized that while he had assumed Caleb wouldn’t want to be touched, he had never actually asked. 

Fjord could feel himself blushing before he even started to ask, but he powered through. This wasn’t about him, this was about comforting Caleb. “Did you...uh,” he cleared his throat, “did you want a hug...or...something?” he finished lamely. Fjord closed his eyes and rolled them,  _ smooth _ . 

When Fjord opened his eyes he was caught very much by surprise to see Caleb staring back at him. He even, Fjord thought to himself, looked a little amused. Well hell, if his embarrassing fumbling cheered Caleb up even a fraction, then it was completely worth it. 

After a few moments, Caleb swallowed and titled his head to indicate the spot to his right. “ _ Ja _ , alright,” came his quiet response. His eyes were once again trained on the ground, only this time on the spot he had indicated. 

Fjord blinked a few times before processing that Caleb had said yes, and then he awkwardly half-crawled to the spot, leaning back against the wall. His legs were stretched in front of him, mirroring Caleb. There were a few inches between them, but Fjord steeled himself and draped his left arm loosely over Caleb’s shoulders. The man had agreed to a hug, after all, not just a change in seating arrangements. 

Fjord could feel Caleb’s shaky breathing and at first, he worried Caleb’s continued stiffness meant he had done something wrong. But then, after a few seconds, Caleb collapsed against Fjord’s side and his head came to rest against Fjord’s shoulder. Fjord smiled, confident Caleb could not see his face, and pulled his arm a little tighter around the other man. Slowly, mostly unconsciously, Fjord began rubbing small, soothing circles into Caleb’s shoulder with the hand resting there. 

Gradually, Caleb’s breathing began to even out, and his shaking eased substantially. So much so, in fact, that Fjord was ready to believe that the other man had fallen asleep when he spoke. 

“It all just gets...a bit much, sometimes. The...people, and all the noise.” Caleb’s voice was quiet, but Fjord could hear him easily over the muffled noise of the party winding down and the soft rustle of the leaves in the wind. 

Fjord hummed in response, acknowledging the statement but feeling like it wasn’t one that needed a real response. After a few more seconds, Caleb spoke up again. “I am sorry, for being such a mess.”

Fjord frowned and looked down at the other man. He couldn’t see his face, but he gave the back of his head an admonishing look all the same. “You ain’t got nothin’ to be sorry for, Cay. We all get overwhelmed sometimes, ain’t nothin’ to be ashamed of.”

It was Caleb’s turn to hum, and Fjord felt it vibrate against his side. After a few moments, Caleb shifted and sat up, turning to face Fjord and tucking his legs under him.

Fjord (reluctantly, but no one needed to know that but him) removed his arm from around Caleb and turned to look at the other man. Caleb was looking at a spot in the distance, but when Fjord turned to him he shifted his gaze to the other man’s eyes.

“Thank you,  _ mein freund _ , for finding me, and...” Caleb’s eyes darted away and then back again, “and for staying. I appreciate you.”

Fjord smiled, taking stock of the warmth that flooded his body at those words; not something he needed to identify right now, but he filed it away for later. “You’re welcome, Cay. I was happy to. And I, uh, I appreciate you too.”

Caleb ducked his head to look at his hands, but not before Fjord saw the slight smile on his face. There really was nothing quite like a genuine Caleb smile, not that Fjord had seen anyway. 

Caleb looked like he was about to say something more when suddenly the balcony’s sliding door slammed open and Nott was standing over both of them. 

“Caleb! There you are! And Fjord. Where the hell have you been? Is everything okay?”

Caleb sighed and began to stand, smiling at his frantic friend. “ _ Ja _ , we are fine. Sorry for worrying you,  _ liebling _ .” He reached down and patted her shoulder reassuringly. 

Nott narrowed her eyes at Fjord as he stood as well. After a few glances between Fjord and Caleb, the smaller woman declared, “Jester’s doing gifts soon, she wants everyone in the living room,” and with a nod of finality, she turned on her heel and walked back into the apartment, leaving the door open behind her. 

Fjord looked after her for a few seconds before glancing back at Caleb, once again startled to find his blue eyes already fixed on his. “We should go in,  _ ja _ ?”

Fjord nodded and glanced inside again. The party had dwindled significantly since he’d been outside and now only Jester’s closer friends remained: everyone too tired or too drunk to make as much of a ruckus. 

“Are you gonna be okay?” Fjord asked hesitantly. He didn’t want to seem overbearing, but he was concerned for the other man. 

“ _ Ja,  _ yes, I will be fine,” Caleb assured him, taking a step towards the open door. Then, before reaching the threshold, he turned back to look at Fjord. “Thank you again, Fjord. You are a truly good friend.”

Fjord flushed at the words, but Caleb had already turned and walked back into the party. Fjord took a deep breath of the night air and recentered himself.

His night had gone more pleasantly than he’d been expecting.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I have been an avid CR fic reader for like 3 years now but I’ve never written anything myself, much less published it. In ~self-isolation boredom~ I cleaned out my drive and found this that I’d apparently started last year?? I have no recollection of starting this?? Idk anyways I reread what I had and was inspired to finish it. And then I was like what the hell might as well post it, what do I have to lose? So here I am, widofjord trash and proud. Feel free to comment with any thoughts, praise, or cc!


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